The Ego’s Hidden Game: Why Humanity Tries to Prove Its Existence
- Dorit Kozlovski
- Jan 7
- 7 min read
Most human suffering does not come from external circumstances.It comes from a far more subtle and exhausting mechanism:
the attempt to prove one’s existence.
We try to prove it to others through roles, status, productivity, opinions, spiritual identity and social positioning. We try to prove it to ourselves through inner narratives, self-justification, comparison and the constant need to “be someone.”
Yet the fundamental paradox is this:
You cannot not exist. Existence is already here — before thought, before identity, before effort.
The ego does not trust this. From that mistrust, an entire world of hierarchy, conflict, validation-seeking and inner tension is born.
The ego is not evil — it is insecure
The ego is often misunderstood as something malicious that needs to be destroyed.In truth, it is simply a fragile identity structure that believes it must constantly defend and confirm itself in order to survive.
At its core, the ego operates on a silent assumption:
“If I am not useful, admired, needed, special, or superior, I may disappear.”
From this belief, several patterns arise almost automatically:
Seeking approval and validation
Competing for status or moral superiority
Defensiveness when questioned
The need to be right
Fear of being seen through
Exhaustion from maintaining an image
This is not a personal failure.It is the default conditioning of human consciousness when it identifies with form instead of Being.
Hierarchy is the ego’s survival language
Once existence feels uncertain, hierarchy becomes essential.
The ego asks:
Am I above or below?
Am I valued or replaceable?
Am I winning or losing?
Am I more awake, more intelligent, more spiritual, more successful?
Even spirituality can become a hierarchy:
Who is more conscious
Who is more awakened
Who has “transcended” more
Who is more evolved
But hierarchy is not truth — it is compensation.
It arises only when Being is forgotten.
When existence is felt directly, there is no need to rank oneself against life. When it is not, comparison becomes the ego’s oxygen.
Why validation never satisfies
External validation can feel relieving for a moment, but it never resolves the underlying insecurity. Why?
Because validation does not address the real fear.
The fear is not:
“Am I good enough?”
It is:
“Do I exist if I am not recognised?”
As long as existence feels conditional, the mind will keep searching for proof — from partners, parents, teachers, clients, society, or even “higher” identities.
This is why validation addiction is endless. It is trying to solve an existential misunderstanding with social feedback.
The Ego Economy: A Receipt
The "Ego" printed on this shirt is a commodity worth more than most legal exports. The Dutch cocaine trade currently generates approximately €10.7 billion in annual earnings within national borders. While the Netherlands serves as the primary logistics hub for Europe's confidence—exporting 90% of these earnings abroad—the domestic "ego consumption" alone costs Dutch users roughly €903 million per year. That is over 12,000 kilograms of powdered ego snorted annually by a single small nation.
Why the €60 - €120 Price Tag? The street price for a gram of cocaine in the Netherlands has remained stable at around €50, roughly one-third of the European average. The price on this shirt (€60 - €120) reflects the "Export Tax." As the product leaves the Dutch hub, it is diluted with cutting agents and marked up significantly for foreign markets — reaching over €100 in the UK and €120 in the Nordic countries and Ireland. Which rate are you paying for an artificial self-esteem?
Energy loss: the hidden cost of ego-consciousness
Maintaining an identity is expensive.
It requires:
Constant self-monitoring
Emotional defence
Narrative maintenance
Suppression of uncomfortable truths
Reaction to perceived threats
This is why so many people feel chronically tired, tense or restless even when “nothing is wrong.”
The energy is not lost because life is demanding.It is lost because the ego is constantly working to justify itself.
When the need to prove oneself relaxes, a surprising amount of vitality returns — not because anything was added, but because something unnecessary stopped.
The illusion of becoming “nobody”
One of the ego’s deepest fears is not failure — it is irrelevance.
This fear often appears as:
Anxiety about losing status
Fear of being replaced (by younger people, technology, AI)
Clinging to roles or identities long after they no longer fit
Resistance to change
But the fear is misplaced.
What disappears when an identity collapses is not Being —it is a story about who one thought one had to be in order to exist.
To the ego, this feels like death. To awareness, it feels like relief.
Lower consciousness is not a judgment — it is a state of identification
When we speak about “lower consciousness,” this is not a moral or intellectual insult.It simply describes a state where awareness is almost completely identified with:
persona
narrative
fear
survival roles
external reference points
In this state, life feels like a constant negotiation:
defending self-image
earning worth
managing perception
avoiding exposure
Conflict is inevitable here — internally and externally — because the ego must protect what it believes it is.
What shifts when existence is no longer questioned
When awareness recognises itself — even briefly — something profound happens.
The question:
“How do I prove myself?”
is replaced by:
“What is true right now?”
Action no longer comes from fear of disappearance, but from clarity, curiosity, and genuine movement.
This does not make a person passive or detached.It makes them less manipulable, less reactive, and far more aligned.
Hierarchy loosens. Comparison fades. Validation becomes irrelevant — not rejected, simply unnecessary.
A doorway into the New Earth
The “New Earth” is not a future utopia. It is a shift in the internal operating system of humanity.
As long as existence feels conditional, the old world of competition, conflict and performance continues.
When existence is recognised as inherent, something entirely different becomes possible:
creation without fear
contribution without self-erasure
boundaries without guilt
compassion without hierarchy
The end of the ego’s need to prove itself is not the end of individuality —it is the end of unnecessary suffering.
And from there, a different way of living begins.
In the next article, we will explore how spiritual teachings themselves are often misused by the ego — turning ideas like “turn the other cheek” into subtle tools of self-betrayal instead of liberation.
FAQ – Ego, Validation & the Need to Prove Existence
1. Why do I always feel like I have to prove myself to others?
Because the ego quietly believes that your existence depends on being seen, valued, or approved of. When existence feels uncertain, proving yourself feels like survival.
2. How can I stop constantly seeking approval and validation from other people?
By noticing that validation doesn’t actually resolve the insecurity underneath it. When you begin to feel your existence as already given, the urge to seek approval naturally softens.
3. Why do I keep comparing myself to others, even in spirituality or self-improvement?
Comparison happens when the ego turns growth into a hierarchy. It’s a way of measuring worth when Being is forgotten and identity needs reassurance.
4. Why do I get so defensive or upset when someone questions or criticizes me?
Because criticism feels like a threat to the identity you’re protecting. The ego reacts defensively when it believes its survival or value is being questioned.
5. Why do I often feel exhausted or tense even when nothing is “wrong”?
Maintaining an identity takes energy. Constant self-monitoring, image management, and inner defence can be deeply tiring, even if life looks fine on the surface.
6. What would happen if I let go of the need to prove myself or be important?
What falls away is not you, but the struggle. Many people experience relief, more clarity, and a return of natural energy when the pressure to perform dissolves.
7. Is it possible to be successful or active without my ego running the show?
Yes. Action can come from clarity, curiosity, and alignment rather than fear or validation-seeking. In fact, effort often becomes more effective when ego pressure drops.
8. What is “lower consciousness” exactly, and is it a judgment?
It’s not a judgment. It describes a state where awareness is mostly identified with identity, fear, roles, and external reference points rather than resting in Being.
9. How can I tell when I’m acting from ego versus acting from my true self?
Ego-driven action feels pressured, defensive, or approval-focused. Action from Being feels quieter, clearer, and less concerned with how it’s perceived.
10. What changes when I realize I don’t have to earn or prove my right to exist?
Life becomes less about performance and more about truth. Comparison loosens, inner conflict reduces, and actions feel more natural and aligned.
🌱 Related practices for exploring these themes directly
For readers who recognise these patterns in themselves and wish to experience what it means to rest beyond the ego, the following practices can support that shift in different ways:
Private Yin Yoga (90 minutes – online or in person)
A slow, meditative practice focused on just being rather than doing. Through breath, stillness, and long-held poses, the nervous system settles and the mind naturally softens its grip on identity and performance.🔗 https://www.higherconsciousnessenergy.com/service-page/private-yin-yoga-90-minutes-remotely-or-in-person
Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT) – Amsterdam
A deep hypnotic journey that allows the analytical mind to step aside, making space for Higher Self guidance. This can reveal where life is driven by ego-based identity and where a deeper soul direction is already present.🔗 https://www.higherconsciousnessenergy.com/service-page/quantum-healing-hypnosis-technique
Pendulum Dowsing & Coaching
A practical way to learn how to access higher-mind answers instead of forcing decisions through fear, doubt, or the need for approval. The pendulum acts as a neutral interface for clarity beyond ego narratives.🔗 https://www.higherconsciousnessenergy.com/service-page/pendulum-dowsing-coaching
Custom-made DURGA T-shirts
These “Would you like to buy my ego” designs are available as custom-made, one-of-a-kind DURGA pieces, created on the base of carefully selected vintage or pre-loved T-shirts and printed or upcycled in any of the styles shown above.
Each piece is made by personal order only, as wearable art rather than mass production.
For inquiries or custom requests, please contact:📩 higherconsciousnessenergy@hotmail.com
Comments